I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
