hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
