so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
