Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
