No more Irish car bombs ever.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
