I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
