I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
