what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize