Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
home. puking in laundry basket.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
