hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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