isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
