so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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