wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
