Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
