3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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