tell your sister to shave her snatch
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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