nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
