sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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