you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
