I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
