So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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