There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
this hospital has no fireball
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
