ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
