Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
