Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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