Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
