im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize