please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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