I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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