ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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