wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
