Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
