after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
