So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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