those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
