ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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