i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
