Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I checked into jail on foursquare
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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