hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
