He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
