They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize