Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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