She said her name was "party"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
last night I used snow as a chaser
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
