No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
