You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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