he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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