people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize