i jhust puked up my retainher.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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