SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize