Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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