Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
