This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
