Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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