My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
