when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
