Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
