I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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