So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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