boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
