he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
