he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
