Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
