He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
