i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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