How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
