I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
sarcasm needs its own font
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
