At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize