I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
