no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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