I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
