I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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