what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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