It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
